No Fifths For Me; The Sobriety Post

Dear Abby,

If I crushed on someone and they turned me down, and then months later that person showed me signs of interest, am I to act in accordance with the initial dismissal, or can I propose emotion once again?


Thanks,

Liminal Lover

PS
Taking a ten-day vacation from booze hasn't illuminated anything for me. It's a legitimate esteem-boost to feel like alcohol has no hold serious hold over my life.

(Go) Fourth

I have been (I think, successfully) attempting to be more social and outgoing as of late. The hopeful end result, of course, being fulfillment in myself and those I surround myself with. I am, generally speaking, a fun person to be around, I just need to believe that and not let tiny things get in my way. I have been saying and feeling as though I am just endlessly detached from feeling things which isn't necessarily true. I miss both my friends and family back East, and I, naturally, long for someone to share things with. The eclipse yesterday was a great reminder of that. As great as it was to view it alone, not having someone to share events/life with is a bit of a reality check. I am attempting to tow the line of being comfortable alone, but not so comfortable that I don't make attempts to reach out and be available to people who make themselves available to me.

Third

I have a bad habit of jumping from "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number," to "Have my baby." I don't know what it is about casual dating that I'm so unable to perform, but apparently there's a level of intimacy between "slept in the same bed together facing different directions and never touching" to "cuddled, coitaled, fell asleep in one-another's arms." Maybe my love life could thrive with a dash of detachment thrown in. "If there's one flaw, it's that I care too much." But, I kinda think that's what's going on with me. I need to learn the gray area between investing everything and not having interest.

Second

Coming to an understanding within myself that I need to focus on fixing certain things within my own life and prioritizing those things over finding constant distractions to keep from facing them.
And now becoming so concerned with getting my thoughts out clearly that it is causing me to stall and procrastinate from getting shit done. This isn't over and I will come back to these thoughts quite often, I assume.

First

This is the first post. I didn't know if I should masturbate before going on a first date, and broached the subject for the first time with some friends I'd made in my first year of college. They said definitely. So, here I am, slightly more relaxed, slightly sleepier, and slightly distracted from writing this post.